Comments from a Southern California Mainline pastor:

As a pastor, my concern at this point would be for Vic and his son Vance. When Vic has the heart attack and is in serious condition, I would be thinking about the possibility he might die soon. I would be aware that others would not want to allow themselves to think he might die, and their reticence to contemplate death might inhibit important sharing and healing from occurring. Thus I would strive to enable Vic and his son to have time alone together to naturally say to each other what they needed to say. I might initiate this by suggesting we have a prayer together. While the spiritual need for the prayer is authentic, the prayer also helps them to adapt quickly to the reality that what is occurring here is more than just a medical emergency-it also is a spiritual crisis and a relational one.

Following the prayer with Vic and Vance, I might turn to Vance and suggest that he spend some time with his father "saying anything you want to say". That is a euphemistic way of suggesting that this might possibly be a last opportunity for forgiveness or loving words. It also helps Vance and possibly Vic to adapt to the potential seriousness of the situation which they naturally don't want to see. I think it is important for the pastor to structure an opportunity for healing to occur or for a close connection to be celebrated prior to death.

At the point when Vic shares his words of apparent "deathbed confessions" (re: how his business needs a conscience") I would allow him to speak, unhindered by my need for clarification. In other words, what is important at that point is not that I clearly grasp what he is confessing, but instead that he have the opportunity to unburden his soul to his priest. The fact that he dies without apparently having shared all of the details is of little concern to me, because death almost always occurs in the middle of life, not in a way that feels tidy and complete. The words he shares are less important than the fact that he is holding my hand in a celebration of human connection and life. I would be present in a spiritually concentrated way, and focusing my inner thoughts in the direction of prayer. All that he chooses to say would be freely accepted, without my pushing for further comment or questioning the meaning of his words. I would want him to use his last life energy in the way he chooses.

After Vic dies, I would continue to stay near his body and enable anyone who needs to say goodbye to do so. Often a son or someone else close to the deceased needs to spend time with the dead body, to pray and to simply see the reality that the person no longer exists in their body. Additionally, I would pray for Vic that as he transitions from this life to the next he experience the embrace of God's loving presence. I would also give pastoral care to the nurses and doctors, who very often appreciate someone spending a moment with them following a death.

As I move forward into the challenges of the way the community is deeply affected by Vic's death, I would not attempt to access the confidential information he shared with me on his deathbed in any way. In a sense, I function as if I do not know what he told me. I as a community member do not know that information; I only know it as Vic's deathbed priest. If the information comes forward some other way, then I will handle it in that other context. But I will not go looking for further details to flesh out the sketchy information Vic shared with me at his death. It is literally not a concern to me; it is something which was shared for one purpose only: for him to unburden his soul. If Vic had wanted me to know more information, he had plenty of opportunity earlier to give me details on any subject. My reading of the situation is that he hadn't shared with me previously because he would have chosen to share things with me as they became clearly relevant. The fact that such information may now never come to light is something I live with as a reality of human existence. Information does vanish when people die.